Kind of feeling really confused, like really really confused. I'm torn between decisions. Went to take dinner and visit my grandparents just now and so I went in to say hello to my grandfather. I saw plasters on his leg, so I asked if he was ok as he was already taking medicine from NUH. And he told me that he was getting better .. But he also said that he had met his friend who has the same leg probems as him but his friend has amazingly recovered in just 3 days while my grandfather has been taking his medicine for like 4 months. I kind of expected what my grandfather would want to do. And yes, I guessed correctly. He got the receipt of the medicine that his friend was taking and he is going Johor to get the medicine as he finds the medicine from NUH not effective. Okay, so here comes what I'm worrying about.
My grandfather is going to buy another type of medicine for himself because he has leg problems and he finds that the medicine given by the NUH doctors are not really working for him. But the thing that I'm worried about is that I got no idea what medicine he will be buying, what kind of stuff the medicine is made of. Even if it might be effective, it might not be safe to consume. And my grandfather's already taking medicine from NUH. What makes it worse is that I'm not supposed to let my parents know because my grandfather told me not to tell anybody and also, I wouldn't want to let them know because I'm afraid that they might quarrel with my grandfather. My father already knows that my grandfather is mixing his medicine ... And my dad is like .. really .. frusrated? Worried? Can't really think of the word. Its just the kind of feeling when someone is not doing the right thing when they're supposed to although you're trying your best to help them? Okay. Yup. And if I don't let my parents know, and anything happens to my grandfather if he takes the medicine that he buys from Johor, I will never be able to forgive myself for not letting my parents know. I'll probably regret for life. Can anyone tell me what exactly should I do? The right decision that I have to make? I don't want to make a wrong decision. A wrong decision with the risk of losing ... my grandfather.
Oh yes. It hurts when your grandparents talk about the past. Like there was this sentence when my grandmum said (in chinese) about the times that my dad brought them to this particular place to eat. It really feels very ... sad when I heard this. As in .. my dad is already working very hard to support the whole family. The five of us including himself plus both my grandparents. I guess its just a matter of time. Like when my father has his own family (which includes me) and he won't be able to find so much time to spend with my grandparents and they might probably feel very lonely. And I believe they will definitely miss the times when we spend time together. Or when everybody gets a get-together. I wonder why its so hard. We're so busy with our own lives that we neglect our grandparents. Thereafter, we regret when its already too late. Imagine living in a house 24 hours a day, lying on your bed in the room or sitting in the living room watching TV. It may seem like a very relaxed life. But will we have anybody to talk to? Will we get tired of this kind of life? Yes, if we can imagine. Then imagine our grandparents in this situation. How would they feel? What would they be thinking about?
Okay. So I'm feeling very down today. Kind of have million of random thoughts running in my mind. Thinking about all the posibilities that might happen. And how I will regret not doing things that I should in the future when its already too late. By the way, there's a serious lack of motivation when eoys are just about less than 10 days away. But nevertheless, jiayou people! Fighting! RVCC, we never crash, ever.
Tag Replies:
Raphael: Haha ..Maybe sometimes being nice is good, but at times it becomes really tiring to be nice.. And there are people who might take it for granted and think otherwise. Hahas.. if you get what I mean .. I guess this is what life is all about. Btw, jiayou for eoys Raphael! (:
Ci En: Hoho. Hellos! :D Hahas, FIGHTING! jiayou! Saw your fb status when you said that everybody seems to be mugging thats why fb is so dead. Don't worry. You got a junior who has no motivation or can't really get the facts into her head. Hoho. There's a saying that goes "Winning is not everything. Wanting to win is." Maybe we can change it to "Studying is not everything. Wanting to study is." ^^
Mag: HAHA, OKAYS! (: Will try to do my best for SDMA and not 丢 <3ZINC 的脸!Hahas, mag! You must jiayou jiayou for eoys and sdma also! Then we can MAPLEEE together as ZINC after eoys! Hohoho! Exictteedd :D